Release Thyself

To be authentically happy is a goal most of us expect to achieve throughout the precious journey of life. Yet along the way, we make decisions we later regret — decisions we believed would make us happy. In doing so, we often restrain the very creativity and uniqueness required to feel truly fulfilled.

On the day you were born, you gave the world something extraordinary: you. You arrived with gifts — creativity, individuality, potential — waiting to be explored. The world has been patiently waiting for you to mature and deliver those gifts. But somewhere along the way, something shifts.

Perhaps you are delivering your gifts already. Perhaps you are not. Perhaps you have forgotten the creative child within you — the part untouched by expectation and comparison.

As we grow, we learn the rules of society. We are taught how life should look. We absorb ideas about success, love, relationships, career, wealth, status. We construct a future based on these expectations — imagining that when we reach a certain age, accumulate certain achievements, or tick certain boxes, we will look back and say, “Yes, I am happy.” Yet one day you may pause and ask: Am I truly happy? Am I complete? Or am I still searching?

You may have the house, the car, the degree, the marriage, the career — or perhaps none of these. And still, something may feel misaligned. Over time, many of us work tirelessly to create the “perfect picture” of life — the one shaped by societal norms since childhood. Marriage. Children. Career progression. Status. Achievement.

In pursuing this image, we often restrain our originality. The creativity we were born with becomes buried under expectation.

Our Perception of Happiness Is Often the Opposite of Reality

Why does this happen? Because from a young age, we are conditioned. We aim to please authority. We learn what is “right.” We tick boxes to ensure we are on the correct path. University tick. Job tick. Marriage tick. House tick. We associate these milestones with happiness.

And while they can absolutely be meaningful, they do not guarantee authenticity.

Human nature seeks approval — from parents, peers, colleagues, society. Yet the more we chase approval, the more we risk restraining ourselves. Creativity matures with us. As we age, the need for external validation should decrease. But often it doesn’t. Instead, we continue striving — hoping the next achievement will deliver completeness. Sometimes it does. Often, it doesn’t.

We see this misalignment reflected everywhere — in burnout, dissatisfaction, rising divorce rates, silent internal struggles masked by outward success. From the outside, someone can appear to have everything. Inside, they may be searching for meaning.

Ticking boxes is not the problem. Believing the boxes alone will create authentic happiness is.

The Problem With Being an Efficient Woman

Bright, capable women are often highly goal-focused. We create urgency. We become efficient. We achieve. But efficiency can carry a cost.

When we rush through life ticking one box after another, we may realise later that urgency shaped our decisions more than authenticity did. We master productivity — but not necessarily alignment.

Authentic happiness is not achieved by accumulating milestones.

It requires stepping back into the creative self we once embodied as children — before our minds were shaped by expectation. Balance must be restored between:

• What society teaches us is “right”

• What aligns with our own values and beliefs

Slowing down can feel uncomfortable. Questioning every move can feel tedious. But this reflective process can redirect your life toward something far more fulfilling.

Sometimes the bravest move is not to accelerate — but to pause.

To reconnect with the creative talents you once held effortlessly.To explore the passions you quietly set aside.To question whether the journey you are on is truly yours.

When you do this, you don’t abandon responsibility. You reclaim authorship.

The world has been patient. It has been waiting for the gifts you were born with.

Unleash them.

Release the creativity within you.

Release the expectations that no longer serve you.

Release thyself.

Dr Kiaos is a researcher and practitioner working at the intersection of organisational culture, change and mental health. She is the founder of Mind Culture Life Australia, supporting leaders and People and Culture teams to understand how work really gets done during change.